Turns out... I actually need writing to function
- chloeharriswrites
- 10 minutes ago
- 3 min read
I haven't been actively working on a writing project for nearly a year and it's been so detrimental to my mental health. Which is surprising because I've had so much more free time to decompress and relax and yet, that's not really been the reality.
One of my favourite quotes about writing is "Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life" by Lawrence Kasdan and I've often wondered what it would be like to not have the constant demand of writing outside of a full-time job. To come home from a stressful day at work, not having to turn on my computer and labour for another two hours, but to just come home and rest. To not have to work tirelessly at weekends on my manuscript but to have all that extra time to see friends and family and properly practice self-care.
I've been writing nearly every day since I was 14 years old so I'd never really known any different. But when my previous project came to a natural pause, I began the process of moving out and decorating my new flat and my deteriorating wellbeing due to my day job, I finally found myself in a lull where I just didn't write. I landed in a position where I had all that extra leisure time that would normally be taken over by my writing 'homework.'
And the result? It's actually made things worse for me.
Being a full-time writer is my ultimate goal in life and when I'm working on a project, despite it taking extra time out of my day, it brings me energy because I'm always making progress. Sure, it may only be 200 words added to a first draft or three pages edited, but it's baby steps towards my dream. It helps me get through the monotonous routine of everyday life because I can look to the future and know where I'll be in a matter of months or even years.
Not making any progress in this area for nearly a year? It's left me floundering and feeling a little deflated. Not to mention, writing is a huge creative outlet, allowing me to express myself and pour all my thoughts and feelings down onto a page. No longer having that as a daily part of my life has had such a massive impact on my mental wellbeing, but not in an immediately noticeable way. It crept up on me over many months, quiet and unassuming until it suddenly felt insurmountable.
I've only just started dipping my toe into the writing world again. I've carved out time to work on two different projects at completely different stages of the writing process.
My latest manuscript, The Storyteller's Collection, is now going to beta readers and I'm so excited to start getting feedback from readers.
I'm also starting to brainstorm and outline my next project with my book coach, Andrea (@andreaerla_bookcoach) and this is always a highlight for me. I actually hate outlining but working with Andrea is so much fun. Having someone to bounce ideas off of, get excited about the story with, and fangirl about Taylor Swift (which isn't writing related but is equally important) brings me so much energy. Even after a couple of meetings and multiple emails going back and forth, I can already feel my general mood improving. I get the writing zoomies again and my creativity is returning to me.
But I am definitely grateful for the last year cold turkey off writing because it's reminded me why I love it so much. As a writer, it's so easy to doubt yourself and lose motivation. After having such a sizable gap in my life without writing has made me realise how important that daily 'homework' really is to my wellbeing and my mental health.
When I get back into the swing of writing will I inevitably lose motivation and curse every day staring at a blank page, waiting for inspiration to strike? Sure, I will. But at least now I'll know why it's so important to keep going anyway.
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